Paul G Bailey
Posts tagged change
Ooh, I Could Murder a Cup of Tea!
02 years ago
by Paul Bailey
in Blog
Sometimes, we end up feeling just a little bit out of our depth.
I remember an old friend of mine found herself literally whisked away to a situation she was not familiar with. Outside of her usual surroundings, the first thing she longed for was something familiar and reassuring, for her this was a really good cup of tea!
It’s a situation many of us find ourselves in at some point. It could be through starting a new job, being at a party where you don’t really “know” anyone else or finding yourself in a situation where you’re unsure of the correct etiquette. During those moments, the urge for something recognisable can be overwhelming. How we face up to and deal with those situations can make all the difference. Some people will do all they can to simply avoid them.
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You can lead a horse to water
02 years ago
but you can’t make it drink…
You can recommend someone gets themselves a life coach, but you can’t make them change for the better.
One thing I’ve really noticed about coaching is how the whole experience has to be driven by the person receiving the coaching or “coachee”. I have often provided people with a one off free trial telephone coaching session so that they can get a better understanding of what coaching is and how it works. Additionally it helps them decided whether they have any connection with me, which I personally believe to be vital for coaching and is the core reason I do offer this free taster session.
During the free session, it very quickly becomes clear to me the people that will go on to purchase coaching, either from me or even another coach. How do I know? One word pretty much sums it up, commitment. The client has to be committed to wanting to change and just that realisation in itself is often enough to put a coachee off completely. They result in reeling off a stream of reasons why coaching isn’t right for them at this time. Ultimately they are absolutely right, coaching isn’t what they need right now, because their current situation is actually less uncomfortable than the thought of having to work at changing some part of themselves. Sadly this can leave them in their victim story line that they use to justify not changing, because really, in their eyes, it’s out of their control.
It used to really sadden me when I thought someone would benefit from coaching but they simply weren’t up for it. Now I realise, the time isn’t right for them, in fact the right time may never come, but ultimately that is their choice and it will be their story. I no longer feel sorry for them, or disappointed in myself for not being able to provide them with the support I thought they needed. I do hold the belief that when they are ready, when the thought of change becomes less fearful than the thought of remaining the same, I’ll be ready a raring to support them in every way I can.
I’m scared to make changes
02 years ago
Sometimes, I’m surprised that people avoid change like the plauge!
I can remember once my partner turning to me and in a bemused voice said
“You always see change as something positive, don’t you”, well yes I guess that I do. That’s isn’t to say that change always works out to be perfectly for me. Often it needs tweaking along the way to stop it from becoming a complete disaster!
I’ve had clients tell me that they are scared to make changes to their life as they are worried about the person they will become. This type of fear can become completely overwhelming and trap the client into their circumstances.
If you were to remain the same, would you be happy?
If you were able to overcome the issues you are putting up with today, would you be happy?
What scares you more, remaining the same or overcoming your challenges?
