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We’ve all been there before: stuck in a rut and wondering “is this all there is?” More often than not, the human quest for fulfillment and happiness is so strong that it inevitably compels one to rethink his state in life: “am I happy?”

Whether you’re one of those people who live by the office clock, or a housewife looking after your children and family day in and out – it’s easy to succumb to a life filled with routine and predictability – the proverbial “comfort zone”.

Despite acknowledging that they’re unhappy, some people just won’t budge from it. What paralyzes most people to stay stuck in a miserable and unhappy life? As crazy as it sounds, there are just some people who choose to be so, especially with their day-to-day job title. Below are some compelling reasons why this is not as far-fetched as it seems, and how one can break free from its bonds:

Recently I joined a local business networking group. It’s a good way to get to know other local businesses and exchange a few referrals. It’s also a really good support group for developing your own business strategy. One of the things we all do at this group is give a 60 second review of our business. Some people call this an elevator speech. Previously I would normally make up my 60 seconds on the fly, as I’m quite happy to ad lib and sometimes the pressure results in a few amusing points that wouldn’t have come out in a totally prepared speech.

Talking about it more on twitter it soon became clear that other people felt that being dyslexic had an affect on their self confidence.

All too often the first sign of the condition is to be told that you are “lazy” or “easily distracted” and of course the world famous “could do better”. These kinds of reports should be screaming alarm bells that there is some kind of struggle going on that needs a little extra care and attention.

Before being diagnosed, I had a reading age of someone two years younger than myself. After diagnoses, some extra tuition from a dyslexia aware teacher and the results were outstanding. My reading age and writing shot ahead. From then on whenever I felt my confidence being tested with things like writing a report, an essay or doing an exam, I always made sure that not only did people know that I was dyslexic but also to remind myself that I was.

By reminding myself that I had an issue with reading and writing, I was allowing myself to be a bit more gentle with my own self criticism. It’s all to easy to remember those harsh words as a kid and begin to wonder, “am I really just lazy or stupid?”.

The fact is that it’s just much harder, so by reminding myself of the problem, I recall some of the tips and tricks that I’ve learnt over the years to just make things a little easier. Suddenly things don’t seem so hard and even become enjoyable!

By accepting your own limitations and working with them rather than fighting against them can make a significant difference to any situation.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/7882313/Annabel-Heseltine-My-family-is-riddled-with-dyslexia.html

Funny how things work out when you decide to try something new.

What do you think of the new theme?

*UPDATE*

Sadly it looks like the theme is quite badly broken, so I’ll have to keep looking for something more suitable.

Typically men don’t ask for directions. They’d much rather work it out for themselves. There’s always that sense that their destination will just be around the next corner, or the belief that you know exactly where you went wrong and how you will correct it.

It’s great when you do finally find your way and have a self satisfied feeling that you did it all on your own, even if it did take you three times as long.

Now for your challenge!

Ask someone for directions, even if you already know the way. Why?! I hear you cry. Well this is a great way to practise ice breaking with someone.

One of the most frequently asked questions I get during my group sessions is about small talk. Everyone seems to hate its futility and yet somehow seem to recognise its importance too. Indeed, starting with something light and easy to digest isn’t just a good idea when you are recuperating but it’s a great piece of advise for becoming skilled at the art of starting a conversation.

By starting small you can easily judge someones response and decide where to go from there. So, why ask for directions? It’s really just for practise, and that all! Just by stopping someone in the street and asking them if they know where the nearest ATM is, a local Hotel or a Bar helps you take that first step without too much trouble.

That first step is getting someone’s attention. A lot of people find it hard just to engage random strangers so by having a purpose to interact it makes it a lot easier. I’ll go into “purpose” verses “agenda” in the next blog post.

But for now, enjoy finding the way! You never know where it will lead

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If you are in central London you are welcome to join the group confidence coaching alternatively you can take up my offer of a free trial coaching session.

Contact:

Paul Bailey

Gay Confidence Coach

Phone: 0845 388 3218

Skype user ID: pgbailey

Email: meetup (at) gayconfidencecoach.com

Web: www.gayconfidencecoach.com

“Confidence Building for Gay Men” Meetup Now Forming in London

Paul Bailey, Gay Confidence Coach, Will Offer Strategies

For Building Self-Assurance and Self-Esteem

London, [22 April 2010]—“There’s a common misconception that all gay men are oozing self confidence,” says Paul Bailey, the UK’s Gay Confidence Coach. “This is not always true.”

In response to the need for self-assurance among gay men, Bailey, a noted life coach, facilitates a Meetup.com group called “Confidence Building for Gay Men.” The meetings take place in central London, near the Liverpool Street Station, on the second Thursday of each month at 7:00 p.m.

Meetup.com offers group meetings in locations around the world, enabling participants with common interest to join groups and interact for mutual benefit.

Participants at Paul Bailey’s “Confidence Building for Gay Men” Meetup learn to build self-confidence via visualisation, breathing, and positive association exercises, as well as through body language adjustments, verbal communication techniques, and sharing experiences with other group members.

Bailey explains, “At this Meetup, gay men have the opportunity to meet with like-minded men interested in personal growth, confidence building, and sharing insights into their own journey of personal development.”

Group members have high praise for Paul Bailey’s previous Meetups.

One participant notes, “I found Paul to be very effective at creating a safe and welcoming space. He was skilled at exploring the issues I raised and at summarising what I had said.”

Another attendee shares the enthusiasm: “This meeting was very effective at helping me to get clarity in an area that I have been struggling with for years. I was able to focus on core issues, clarify what was holding me back, and set out a plan for how to take action.”

Still another reports, “If you are a gay man who would like to work on building your confidence, then this is exactly designed for you!”

Those eager to move behind old patterns and step into a new, more confident, and more successful life should be sure to attend these stimulating meetings. For the exact Meetup location, e-mail meetup@gayconfidencecoach.com or phone 0845 388 3218.

About Meetup:

Meetup.com is the world’s largest network of local groups. Meetup.com makes it easy for anyone to organize a local group or find one of the thousands already meeting up face-to-face. More than 2,000 groups get together in local communities each day, each one with the goal of improving themselves or their communities.

Meetup’s mission is to revitalize local community and help people around the world self-organize. Meetup believes that people can change their personal world, or the whole world, by organizing themselves into groups that are powerful enough to make a difference.

About Paul Bailey:

Paul Bailey (www.gayconfidencecoach.com), the UK’s  “Gay Confidence Coach,” is an out and proud gay man who helps people add meaning and confidence to their personal and professional lives. Trained at The Coaching Academy, the world’s largest life-coaching school, Paul delivers his coaching expertise through face-to-face individual or group sessions, as well as by telephone and online. Paul’s clients come from diverse backgrounds, including from the worlds of art, business, and academia on both sides of the Atlantic.

Paul’s unique and upbeat approach to life coaching enables each individual to verbalise ideas, goals, and dreams; to explore options; to develop effective directions and plans; and to move forward at a comfortable-yet-productive pace—and all without ever feeling judged or criticised. The result is that Paul’s clients are empowered to focus on possibilities and to achieve maximum fulfilment and success in all aspects of their lives.

Follow Paul Bailey on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/lifecoach

For additional information, visit http://www.meetup.com/Confidence-Building-for-Gay-Men/

—end—

If you would like to come along just pop over to the Meetup.com website and register

These sessions are limited to just 4 members per group, so places are REALLY LIMITED!

I look forward to welcoming you soon!

http://www.meetup.com/Confidence-Building-for-Gay-Men/

It shows how feelings of self-consciousness keep a high school boy from doing his classwork well or making friends easily.

A better quality version is available from the Internet Archives.
http://www.archive.org/details/SelfCons1951

If you would like to find out more about these sessions then head on over to

http://www.meetup.com/Confidence-Building-for-Gay-Men/

Or alternatively contact me directly with any questions you may have.

I remember an old friend of mine found herself literally whisked away to a situation she was not familiar with. Outside of her usual surroundings, the first thing she longed for was something familiar and reassuring, for her this was a really good cup of tea!

It’s a situation many of us find ourselves in at some point. It could be through starting a new job, being at a party where you don’t really “know” anyone else or finding yourself in a situation where you’re unsure of the correct etiquette. During those moments, the urge for something recognisable can be overwhelming. How we face up to and deal with those situations can make all the difference. Some people will do all they can to simply avoid them.