I FINALLY CAME OUT, But I still feel horrible.?

I FINALLY CAME OUT, But I still feel horrible.?

I thought once i came out id feel better, but I still feel fear and anger and sadness….I feel like I should die and that it be better if I did not exist. I thought pressure and fear would be gone but its not, and damn near everyone in my family is accepting, so why do I still feel miserable and sad.

Sorry to hear that coming out didn't resolve all the bad feelings you were having. That's got to be tough and really frustrating.

There can be a number of reasons. I'm a gay confidence coach and I deal with this kind of thing all the time. A lot of my clients recognise that they often put all their reasons for feeling bad on just one thing. Blaming that thing for feeling bad, lonely, poor, sad, everything! But when I work with them they also realise that very scary question...

"What if I resolve this issue, but I still have a problem, what do I do then?!"

This could be from saying things like "once I lose weight I'll get a boyfriend" or "when I move out and get my own place I'll be happy" or in your case "once I tell everyone I'm gay I'll feel better”

The truth is that you have removed one problem in your life and have discovered that it wasn't the root of your struggles. You're going to have to do a bit more soul searching to find out why. 

The great news is that now you have come out, you have a huge number of people that are clearly understanding, love you very much and would be glad to talk things through with you. Use those wonderful people around you to help understand what else could be getting you down.

One final point, it could just be because coming out wasn't the big deal you thought it would be. So it left a bit of a hole. In which case just giving yourself some time to adjust might be all that you need.

I hope this helps
Let me know how you get on 

Paul

Once again I was delighted to have recieved the “best answer” badge as voted by the “Asker”. He also added this extra note at the end

You read me like a book , because I have said all three of those things together. I have been through alot and to be honest I have severly low self esteem. So bad it is sometimes make me think of suicide, but maybe one day ill get it together. Thank you.

I really hope things get better for you, and please do let me know how you get on.