Paul G Bailey
Archive for July, 2009
Part Four: Learning from your Mistakes
Jul 27th
This is part four of a 4 part mini-course on how to build your self confidence. To make sure you recieve any future posts as they are published use the subscribe box on the left to have them sent directly to your inbox.
So, you feel good, you’re acting the part of the confident individual and you look good, too. Now it’s time to make sure that these feelings of positivity don’t disintegrate the minute something goes wrong.
In order to really reap the benefits of increased confidence and self-worth, you have to accept that everything doesn’t go according to plan all of the time. This has no bearing on you as an individual; it’s just a simple fact of life. We all make mistakes: it’s how we deal with them that counts. You need to try and turn a negative situation into a positive outcome and use the experience wisely in order to learn more about yourself and other people.
It can sometimes take a lot of courage to own up and admit to making a mistake, especially if it’s one that has had financial or personal implications for other people, or the company you work for. By admitting to the mistake as soon as possible, you’re demonstrating real confidence as an individual. The courage and humility required to do this will only serve to enhance your reputation in the eyes of others and it will also help you to gain closure on the event and move forward. Dwelling on the mistakes you make is a fruitless exercise and is simply time wasted that could have been put to better use.
Once you realise that you’ve made a mistake, the important thing is to try and rectify the situation as quickly as possible. Then, instead of thinking about how it could have been avoided if you’d done ‘this’ or ‘that’, think about how you can learn from the mistake and ensure that it doesn’t happen again. If the mistake occurred because you were tired, or because you were becoming too blasé about a certain aspect of your job, then you need to look at these issues and decide on a plan of action to take away the reason for the mistake occurring.
The key is to evaluate certain aspects of your life in order to ensure that you don’t keep on making the same mistakes. It’s the person who fails to learn from their mistakes that will keep making them and, if you keep making the same mistakes, then your confidence will naturally decrease until you get to the stage whereby your peers and colleagues might begin to lose faith in your abilities. It can turn into a perpetual cycle and can have a detrimental effect on all areas of your life.
If, on the other hand you learn form the mistakes you make, you will discover areas of your life that you can improve. You have then succeeded in turning the negative situation surrounding the mistake into a positive outcome. This can only be a good thing when it comes to boosting your confidence and taking charge of your life and the path you’re going to take.
Part Three: Dress to Impress
Jul 20th
This is part three of a 4 part mini-course on how to build your self confidence. To make sure you recieve each part as it’s published use the subscribe box on the left to have them sent directly to your inbox.
Now that you’ve had a chance to think about self-belief and body language, it’s time to take a look at your wardrobe. Although dress sense is very much a personal thing, the clothes you wear can say a lot about your personality. If you look good, you’re more likely to feel good and you will naturally exude more confidence.
Dressing to impress doesn’t necessarily mean breaking the bank with shopping sprees to expensive boutiques and designer shops. As the very appropriate proverb goes, “cut your coat according to your cloth”. In other words, shop according to your budget. Having said that, some items of clothing are worth investing more money in and, depending on your line of work, you may wish to splash out a bit more for key pieces that will boost your confidence. For example, a tailored suit can be a fantastic investment. Whilst you might be lucky and find an off-the-peg suit that just happens to flatter your particular frame and figure, a tailor-made suit will give you that extra confidence boost when you really need it.
The art to dressing with confidence is to find styles and colours that really suit you. If pea green is your favourite colour but you look like a bowl of soup when you wear it, then stop adding it to your wardrobe. Whilst no one wants to hide their personality away under bland clothing, there’s a lot to be said for dressing for the occasion and a few classic items in your wardrobe will ensure that you have outfits at your fingertips whenever you need to look the part. An ill-fitting or inappropriate item of clothing will distract you and will also draw other’s people’s attention to areas of your body that might not be entirely confident with. If you spend a meeting or a first date tugging at a shirt that’s just a little bit too tight around the midriff, your confidence levels will plummet and you won’t be showing yourself off at your optimum.
If you’re turning over a new leaf and ditching the contents of your wardrobe to start from scratch then take a friend with you when you go shopping. It’s often a good idea to get a second opinion – just make sure it’s an honest opinion. Whilst shop assistants can be very helpful, they’re often busy and it’s in their best interests for you to buy the clothes. A friend can also dash about to find different sizes and they’ll probably pick out things that you’d never have considered trying if you were shopping alone. This can be a great way to broaden your clothing horizons and discover new styles.
If you can give yourself a confidence boost by dressing in clothes that suit your body shape and personality but are also comfortable and stylish, then you’ll be off to a good start every day and this should have a positive impact on your work and other areas of your life.
Don’t miss part four: Learning from your mistakes
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Part Two: Body Language
Jul 13th
This is part two of a 4 part mini-course on how to build your self confidence. To make sure you recieve each part as it’s published use the subscribe box on the left to have them sent directly to your inbox.
Have you ever wondered why some people can enter a room and command a sense of power? They might not have spoken a word but their presence is sufficient to make everyone else sit up and pay attention. These individuals aren’t necessarily tall, muscular or beautiful but they almost certainly have the knack of executing the art of positive body language.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you use body language on a daily basis to convey your feelings to other people. By learning to use your body language to your benefit, you can enhance your self-confidence and the confidence that others have in you. Body language can help you to achieve success in your career, your business dealings and in your personal life. By understanding body language, you can also gauge other people’s perceptions of you and of the situations they find themselves in: in other words, you can read people.
Although body language is a science in itself and people have spent years studying and trying to unravel the exact nuances of non-verbal communication, there are definitely some key points to look out for when you’re presenting yourself to other people. In obvious situations like conducting a meeting, confronting a partner, or going for a job interview, the need for affirmative and self-confident body language is imperative. However, as people get to know each other better then the more subtle aspects of their body language can help to reveal even more about their personalities.
Your eyes can say a lot about you and, in terms of coming across well to other people, direct eye contact is a safe bet. This is universally regarded as a sign that someone is being attentive and is interested in what the other person has to say. By looking someone straight in the eye you are giving the signal that you’re being honest. Your arms are another giveaway when it comes to body language and this might be something you’re not even conscious of when you’re talking to others. By gaining some knowledge about the outward signs that your body uses to convey your emotions, you can then take positive steps to address these and try to portray yourself in a more confident and accessible manner. Crossed arms are a sign of defensiveness and this physical barrier that you are putting between your body and the person you are talking to can be detrimental in many situations. In contrast, holding your arms behind your back is a sign of confidence. So, next time you feel your arms itching to cross themselves, push them behind your back instead and watch your confidence levels soar.
The handshake is another body language sign that is open to much interpretation. As it’s frequently used in situations that might have a bearing on your professional or personal life, make sure you get it right with a firm handshake that exudes confidence. Shake someone’s hand with your palm facing upwards and you’re submitting to their authority; palm down and you’re trying to dominate. If you use both hands, then you might give the impression that you’re a domineering character, so don’t go over the top.
Next: Part Three: Dress to Impress
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